You are only permitted to use the following email address to get in touch with me, myself, and I if you meet the following criteria:

(1) You don't have a case of The Crazies.

(2) You have never spent time in the slammer.

(3) You don't mutter to yourself on the train.

If you meet all the above criteria, please feel free to contact me at: acaitslife[at]gmail[dot]com.