Monday, 22 July 2013

This Is Totally About My Hair

Alright, so who wants to read about my hair?

Not you?

Too bad! Because that's what I'm writing about!

I think there might be some sort of atmospheric distress surrounding me right now, because shit is going missing. I can't find anything! Things are getting lost or robbers are breaking into our home and stealing the most inconsequential shit just to mess with my mind, and one of those things is my hairbrush. Anyhow, I haven't had a hairbrush for...a couple of weeks. That means I haven't brushed my hair...for a couple of weeks.

THE HORROR.

(Once I was in Blockbuster and shouted across the store to my friend asking if she wanted to rent a horror, except it really sounded like I said, "Hey! [Friend]! Want to rent a whore?!" The advice I'm giving here is really make sure you enunciate every syllable of the word 'horror', otherwise lots of people will laugh while others shield their children's ears. Back to the story...)

THE HOR-ROR.

It's true, I haven't brushed my hair for two weeks because I kept forgetting to buy a brush.

Robbers stole my damn mind too, apparently.

But it's not as bad as you think. (It is.) It's not. (It is.) You see I have, to use scientific terminology, 'slippery' hair. A hairdresser once told me this, in a lot of distress, as she tried to curl my hair but the curl kept falling out. "Holy balls girl, you have the slipperiest hair EVER. I have to back comb this shit just to get it curled."

She was really professional, too.

So even though I didn't brush my hair for two weeks, it wasn't knotty. Or even tangled. That's what happens when you have slippery hair.

Weird, right? Well, it was a weird time in my life.

But I bought a brush today, and I'm glad I told you all about it.

The End.

1 comment:

Ais said...

Hahaha! Excellent story