Thursday, 13 June 2013

Close Encounter With An Asshole

For every one super lovely and amazing encounter I have with a stranger, I have about ten not so-awesome encounters.

Let me share the most recent one.

The worst part about having such a cute and charming and friendly baby (see what I did there?!) is that people want to talk to her all the time. Then they talk to me. Then I sweat profusely because, oh damn: I have to speak German now. (Side note: Since LB's birth I have met some amazing moms. Who all speak English. It's the best. Ever.)

Today we were at the bus stop and this very elderly lady slowly approached, walking with a cane. Then she stopped at LB's buggy and LB flashed her a huge smile and reached her arm straight up into the air as if to say: "I'm superhero cute! Notice and interact with me!"

Damn that kid.

That trick works every time.

Every time.

Old Lady With A Cane (henceforth known as OL) was not exempt from my baby's trickery and then she said, in a booming voice that I never would have imagined could come out of such a small and bent frame, "HOW OLD IS SHE?"

"She's nine months old, ten months next week."

***

Here's where I'll interject to say that LB is currently taller than other babies her age, and she gets this from her Dad.

I am just scrapping in at 5'5, so while I'm not short I am decidedly average.

Let's continue

***

"TEN MONTHS OLD?!"

"Yes, that's right."

"SHE'S SO TALL. AND MOMMY IS SO BIG."

What. The. Fuck.

Whatthefuckityfuckfuck!!!!

Then OL cackled with laughter while everyone else at the bus stop looked away in horror, because
whatthefuckityfuckfuck!!!! I wanted to kick out her cane. For realz. Super hard, too.

Damn, people can be so rude. Especially the ones with canes. Like did they just get to a certain point when they thought, "I'm old. I don't have to be considerate anymore. I'll just say any damn thing that comes to mind and I could give two shits if it hurts someone's feelings or not. It's my god given right as an OL."

Meanwhile my pride was smarting and I wanted to shout at her, in the same tone deaf voice, I'M WEARING A BILLOWY TOP, ASSHOLE.

 

5 comments:

mom said...

Honestly, people are so f---ing rude!!!! What an old cow!!

Ais said...

Aww, I'm sorry that happened Cait :( What a b*tch!

OW said...

My OL grandmother used to say "you became so round" pissed me off always, but it was the way she saw it ... and me - sorry some bee-otch ruined your day - always know you're beautiful and always will be :-) and f*em all!

Sandra said...

oops - I'm OB, not OW - gawd, can't remember anymore - shall I just be SK or Sandra from now on???

Caitie said...

Mom & Ais -- Old people, eh? Yeah I was really shocked, but I tried to find the humour in it hence the blog post. Most outrageous encounters go undocumented because I'm too full of rage :-)

Sandra -- You'll always be OB to me. Bow before the queen of the organising bees :-) And thank-you!