Saturday, 27 April 2013

Potty Training

Oh yes, Internet, our eight month old is so advanced that we've already begun potty training!

Not.

No, no, what I mean is I need to start potty training...my language. I can, and often do, curse the air blue when something has upset me, hurt me (like, you know, SLICING OPEN YOUR THUMB), or just plain confused me.

I've heard many, many times that swearing is the unintelligent way to express yourself and this is a perfectly valid argument. My counterpoint being that when you open your mailbox and find you've been summoned for jury duty, are you really going to pause and say, in your most erudite voice, "Oh bother. Those muttonheaded, copulating, cretins down at the courthouse want me to give up a week of my pre-booked summer holidays! Well they can go make love to themselves! I'm deeply aggrieved by this and feeling a lot of hostility!"

Um, chances are you aren't going to say that.

And who can blame you?

Only assholes talk like that.

OOPs.

Did it again.

So yeah, I'm trying to train the ol' potty mouth right now and to be honest, Internet, it's not going well. And while I don't smoke, I think stopping swearing might be a little similar to quitting smoking (minus the whole nicotine addiction). In speaking with a colleague about stopping smoking, she noted it's not the addiction that's the most difficult to overcome but rather it's the habit: when a cigarette is just part of the ritual. That's what I'm realising is hardest to overcome about swearing: I curse in situations out of habit, and nothing else.

But as I previously mentioned, there's a little slice of sweet potato pie with whipping cream on top who's listening to everything I say, and it would really be nice if LB's first word was, "Mama," instead of, "What the f-ck?!"

So Internet, anyone have any experiences with potty training your language?

How long until you were fully trained?

Did you still have accidents at night?

2 comments:

CherylfromSaskatchewan said...

My husband was commenting to me in a very "descriptive" manner when he got a very wide-eyed look on his face about mid-comment. He did not realize that our daughter was standing right behind me. She was only about eight years old, and fit perfectly behind me. In his defense, he did not realize it was a no-school day, as he was very careful about the language he used when the kids were around. And - we were standing in his office, which was attached to our house (remote detachment). Yep - we all slip up now and then, and sometimes the circumstances are just right for it to happen.

Caitie said...

Haha! Great anecdote, Cheryl! Thanks :-)