Monday, 21 January 2013

Vents Let Out Steam!

Last week kicked my ass so hard.  It felt like someone hitched me up to the back of a wagon and dragged me through mud--with my mouth open. It wasn't any one thing, but rather just a whole bunch of stuff that stacked on top of each other.

(1) An LB who is in a phase where she refuses to not be attached to my person. And oh man, she will let you know when she isn't happy about being on her own. I'm half thrilled that she's exerting this personality and 100% tired. Oh, that math doesn't add up. WHATEVER. I know it's only a phase (I don't expect her to be fifteen years old and having to stuff her in a Baby Bjorn to carry her to the mall) so I'm not about to over-think 'should I pick up my baby who doesn't want to be on her own? What if she starts to think she can have her way whenever she wants? What if she never learns to be on her own? What if this is the gateway to her stealing my purse as a teen, then asking to be put in the Baby Bjorn so I can take her to the mall where she'll spend all the stolen money?' (If you can't tell, I really like reading the mom message boards. People can panic about anything.) She's five months old. She wants to be held. I'll hold her. Okay, no problem. Except, problem: it's exhausting, yo. It takes me twice as long to get anything done.

(Sidenote: guess who's been rolling over?! Like it ain't no thang! Yes, I finally learned how to roll over! Hooray for me! Okay, it's actually LB. I cheer her on like she was an Olympian crossing the finish line in first place. God it must feel awesome to be a baby. THEY'RE CHEERING ME ON. FOR ROLLING OVER. LIFE IS AWESOME. Now pick me up.)

(2) Putting LB to bed, then turning on my computer to work. You have no idea how good it feels to still be able to work. I don't know why, but I need this. But man, it's super tiring some weeks to look after the baby all day, and then work after she's gone to bed. First world problem. #won'tcomplainaboutthisagain.

(3) My effing jeans that I bought after LB was born that were 'only supposed to fit for a little while', but are still fitting pretty damn great. Yes, okay, whatever, give myself a break. She's only five months. Nine months on, nine months off.  Yadda, yadda, yadda. I want to buy a smaller pair of jeans. End of story.

(4) What's that you say? Just exercise a lot and eat healthily? Oh, why didn't I think of that? What a dum-dum I am. Except the GD arthritis is still not under control. This means I can't do anything beyond a walk without being completely crippled the next day and the day after that. Some days I can't even go for a walk because my stupid knees are so full of fluid. Cardio is not in my life right now and I so want it to be. I am ready to, well, not run. I hate running. But I'm ready to walk up the Gurten at a damn fast pace, thankyouverymuch.

(5) The new treatment I started. It's supposed to be magical. I expected it to work after the first injection. It didn't. Maybe after the second one...

(6) One of my very, very, very, very, very, very, very favourite friends moved to Oxford a few weeks ago. I missed her last week. Andie: feel free to ditch England and come back. Who needs to be living in a town that's like Harry Potter, surrounded by loads of English speakers, with access to deliciously priced food? Come on back to Bern! The people are only sort of friendly, no one can understand their crazy ridiculous dialect, and the food is really pricey! Come on back! I'll meet you at the Beck! We'll spend 4 bucks on tap water! It'll be awesome!

(7) Government paperwork. I am in the process of applying for LB's Canadian citizenship, her passport, renewing my passport, and Dan's. You don't even want to know the flaming hoops that must be jumped through. In contrast, we need to get her Swiss passport. "Oh, come down to our office and bring her birth certificate and your family book. We'll take her picture then you'll get the passport in ten days."  For serious. Switzerland may have bureaucracy, but at least it's GD efficient and sensible. TAKE NOTE, REST OF THE WORLD.

(8) All the hair I'm losing. This is a thing, apparently. Your hair falls out four months after you give birth. It's no joke. I have a receding hairline. I Skyped with my sister last night, told her about the receding hair line, and she was all, "I bet you don....oh."  I showed her. The wonders of technology. Hair, stop falling out. You're plugging the drains.

(9) I'm dropping in on a mom's group this Wednesday. I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time the thought makes me weary. I hope, hope, hope, to meet one (just one) like-minded individual. I know it's ridiculous to be weary over something that hasn't even happened yet, but when you live as an expat and are hoping to make friends, your pool of native speakers is small. Then you have to find someone in that pool with whom you mesh: just because you both speak the same language, doesn't mean you understand each other. Now couple this with having a kid: people are serious about parenting. It's like some people are out for a PH.D in parenting. As observed on the message boards, they over think everything. It gives me a headache for them. But it could be I'm the one who's naive, who doesn't get it, who people will find odd. I don't read baby books, I don't subscribe to a doctrine of parenting: co-sleeping, attachment, So yeah, I'm hoping to find someone who just goes with the flow and hasn't made being a parent their philosophical career; which, I should state the obvious, is totally cool, but that's not  my personality so I fear I will look at them like, "Seriously?' and they will look at me like, "You're an idiot." Fingers crossed for me, please.

(10) I'm tired of grocery shopping. Yes, it deserves its own bullet point.

How about you guys? What's been loading you down, lately. Please vent. It's totally therapeutic.


Julia said...

After reading number 9 i wonder if you live near zurich. We could meet for a coffee. Im from spain , weve been living in zurich for 3 years now and my baby boy is 6 months old and oh hell yeah it looks almost impossible to find an expat mum with some decent conversation!!

Caitie said...

Hi Julia! I am not around Zurich area, unfortunately. I'm in and around Bern area. Do you ever get down this way? If so, a coffee meet-up would nice :-)