Saturday, 12 January 2013

So, I'm At The Grocery Store...

As all great stories begin:

So, I'm at the grocery store today and I couldn't get down one aisle with my shopping cart because the Coop staff were stacking shelves. I park my cart, go searching for what I need down one aisle, then the next, and absentmindedly toss the can of beans in my cart while I exam the cookies and decide if I want them. No. Be strong. Walk away. Better yet, sprint. SPRINT AWAY FROM THE COOKIES. I hurry away from the cookies, then I continue on my way meandering through the store at a leisurely pace since I am sans baby.

Sure I'll stop and spend five minutes looking at the selection in the seafood display; I can do this today, I'm baby free! You know, I've never really studied the bread section in detail. I'll do that today. Etc, etc, times ten minutes. MaybeIshouldgetoutmore.

Then I get to the beauty department and pick up a tube of toothpaste, go to toss it in my cart, and...WTF? This isn't my shopping cart!

SHIT.

I have just spent ten minutes pushing around someone's cart!

So as all responsible citizens do, I plucked out my can of beans and just backed away from the cart while trying to look inconspicuous while suspiciously looking all around me and whistling a little tune. Do, do, do, wasn't me. I didn't steal this cart. Do, do, do.

I found my cart exactly where I left it, threw my beans and toothpaste in, then whipped down the soda aisle where a very annoyed man was angrily muttering in German, "WHERE IS IT," as he stormed around.

Do, do, do, wasn't me, do, do, do.

But Internet, I'm not a total ass: I did return to the scene of the crime later to make sure he found it.

Jeez.

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