Thursday, 22 November 2012

She's Swiss!

A fact about Bernese people (maybe all Swiss) is they like to stare. They really, really like to stare. All guests who have ever visited us from far and away have commented that they've felt the beady and inquisitive eyes of a bored public commuter boring into their soul and refusing to look away once eye contact is returned. Because haven't you caught yourself just staring at someone as your mind wanders, but all of a sudden you realize the person is looking back so you jump to attention and go out of your way to pretend: Nope! Wasn't looking at you! Well, people here don't do that. They keep staring. And staring. And staring.

It's awkward.

So this morning LB and I were in Bern and I was doing some extremely important errands, like deciding if I was going to buy some new shoes. We were approaching LB's mid-morning bottle break, so I ventured down to Starbucks so I could feed her. Here is where I'd like to extend a big shout-out to corporate America. Corporate America: thanks for always having baby change tables in your facilities. It means a lot to me considering that in LB's short life I have had to change her on no less than FIVE toilet seat covers because the restaurants didn't have baby change tables! 

I got a toffee nut latte and a Christmas muffin, changed LB, and she happily sucked on her bottle while I eavesdropped on a pair of young British business people who were sitting beside me and working frantically on their tiny, nearly non-existent, computers. These young men were typing furiously and throwing around phrases like 'cross-strategize', 'HR synergy', 'won't get pissed at Christmas party', 'PDF's', 'bloody email', and 'target marketing'. It was all very impressive.

After LB finished eating I propped her up so she could look around while I sipped my coffee and enjoyed my muffin. It soon came to my attention that the young businessmen would pause in their typing and look my way. Since I have left the house--just this week--with baby vomit twirled into the ends of my hair (I didn't know about it!) I checked myself for mysterious and hidden upchuck, but found nothing. They kept looking and I realized it was because LB was staring them down. She was intent on looking at them, her little bobble head was rocking and rolling, and by god she was not going to break her blue-eyed stare. Those young men were the object of her intense gaze and she didn't give a damn about social protocol. She was going to look, and keep looking, and look some more.

She's truly from Bern!

But I don't think they minded that much.

After all, she's pretty damn cute.

Also, I did some staring of my own on the ride home today.

A teen got on the bus with the most horrific hickey that I have seen in years. It was grotesque! It looked like someone stuck a toilet plunger on the side of his neck and pulled.


Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Me and She

It's been me and she today.

Naps on the couch, listening to Christmas carols, and watching her fairy lights twinkle.

Sunday, 18 November 2012


Internet, I'm stumped.

I sit down to write a blog post, and my mind feels as blank as the white screen I stare at. Only difference between my mind and the white screen is at least the screen has a cursor blinking every so often. My brain? Nadda. This isn't to say that there hasn't been stuff going on, but I'm lazy and it seems hard to write about.

I could tell you about the Christmas market I went to today, with the sole purpose to buy Oepfelchuechli (basically, deep fried apple rings rolled in sugar) then I turned around and came home.

I could tell you how when I'm swaddling LB at night, she usually gives me the most beautiful smile that leaves me with a feeling I'm not articulate enough to describe. I think this smile is her way of saying, "Remember I'm cute, because I will refuse to fall asleep for the next hour and I don't even care you wanted to have a bath and watch a movie."

I could tell you all how my (insert every curse known to mankind) arthritis is back on the scene, and I had to stop breastfeeding LB at nine weeks so they could treat it. 

I could tell you about what a hard day and ensuing week that was for me. How even though I didn't like breastfeeding, I still thought it was cool I provided nourishment for her. How even though I FULLY SUPPORT with no questions a mother's right to choose formula for her baby, how I felt like a horrible person every time I mixed up her bottle. Like I was feeding her poison. How I was angry at myself for not being able to walk a line I support. And here's the irony: at that point, my breast milk was poison due to medication. 

How that effing literature by the 'breast is best' people is horrible and insidious and narrow-minded. Of course BB and La Leche, of course I don't want to give my baby her head start down the road to Mensa and moon walking on Mars. That's why I have given her formula: because I want her to be average, sickly, and du-du-dumb. Because that's what you're implying with your pamphlets AND DON'T EVEN DENY IT. I guess my formula baby will now just live in a trailer park and forget to put pants on when she goes to Wal-Mart to buy tubs of mayo for her litter of children.  Oh, let's not forget she'll be wiping her nose on her ill-fitting shirt because she's always going to be sick thanks to that devil formula.

I could tell you all how thankful I am for formula, because without it I couldn't get the treatment that allows me to walk, crouch, bend over, hold LB in my arms, and chew food.

I could tell you all about how I spent part of yesterday waiting to see a doctor, who then proceeded to drain 3.5 oz of fluid out of my knee. With a 2 inch needle. Then he called his buddies in and they basically all geeked out over this. I felt self-conscious.

I could tell you all how the same doctor thought LB was the bee's knees and asked if he could see her, while simultaneously pulling her from her buggy. She smiled at him, then he basically danced on the spot and said, "She's smiling! She's smiling!"

I've learnt that people really love babies. Prior to LB I thought babies were okay, but I wasn't about to get all up in a people's business over their baby. Now I get it.

I could tell you all how having Cosmo prepared me for having a baby. Hint: the baby is easier. NOT EVEN JOKING. And you know what, maybe I will tell you about that because seriously. Seriously.

I could tell you how it slays me to see Dan cuddling with our little Sparrow.

How it slays me that so far, most people we meet think she looks like Dan. The only thing I seem to have given her is fair hair and blue eyes. That's it. And the blue eyes aren't necessarily from me, seeing as Dan's dad and brother had/have baby blues.  It's really annoying to have carried a baby around for nine months, and not be told there's a resemblance. REALLY ANNOYING.

But for now I'll just say we're having a roast chicken kind of Sunday, then it's bath night for LB and hopefully she'll go to sleep before ten so we can watch a movie. Because our LB, she notices the t.v. now. Oy.

What are we supposed to do? Read or talk or something?

Monday, 12 November 2012

We Interrupt This Silence To Bring You Jibber Jabber

Yo, Internet. It's been all quiet on the blogging front, wouldn't you agree? Well our Canada visitors have all gone home, and after six weeks I'm an empty nester...sort of, if you don't count this cute little baby that is currently lying under her activity gym cooing with delight over the wooden horse and bell mobile that dangles above her.

Here's that baby now:

Just chillin' in my kinderwagen.
No biggie.
Was I upset to have everyone leave? Duh, of course I was. My parents were the last to leave, and that was the hardest goodbye because they did all my housework for me. Um, of course it was hard to say goodbye for other reasons but as I stare out of my perfectly clean windows (as washed by my dad) and bake in my sparkling clean oven (as scrubbed by my mom) and eat off of dishes that I never had to wash for three weeks, and watch my baby kick on a carpet I didn't have to vacuum during this time, I can't seem to remember what the other difficult reasons are?
I kid! I kid!
I also miss them because they bought me coffee and sandwiches.
I kid! I kid!
I miss them because they are rockin' grandparents, as I've discovered. No literally: they rocked our LB to sleep most nights; my dad is a baby whisperer.
So it was a busy six weeks and we had lots of quality time with my family and come December Dan's mom will be here to visit and we are looking forward to that. Especially Dan, as he has plans to get his mom to recreate all of his favourite Swiss childhood meals.
But now we are empty nesters, Dan is back at work after having taken most of last week off, and it's just LB and I today with our crazy kitty loves, Cosmo and Poppy. LB has just started to notice the cats, and to be fair I mean Cosmo. Poppy is too sedentary for anyone to notice her, most days. But Cosmo is in a racing mood, and as he runs around LB's eyes get huge as she tries to figure out what happened to that grey fur ball that was just in front of her.
In other news, I was putting away groceries and cleaning the kitchen this morning (Mom!! I miss you!! Come back!!) and LB was in her bouncy chair, watching. She got a bit bored, so I discovered the secret to making her smile and keeping her entertained: putting on the song 'Gangnam Style' and doing the dance in the kitchen while she watches me with a huge gummy grin on her face. That song is four minutes long and I danced to it twice.
I was sweating.
You don't know 'Gangnam Style'? Well, let me introduce you to our new favourite way to spend four minutes.

And the last thing on today's agenda: I'm making my first batch of Christmas cookies.
Too soon?