Friday, 27 July 2012

Week 33

The stretch marks are coming! The stretch marks are coming!

Now just imagine me saying that in my most colonial 18th century accent, except instead of stretch marks I'd be more worried about the redcoats and bayonets. Also, I'd be American. So really, that attempt to be funny has just really deflated quite quickly.

But it's true, despite oiling up the ol' belly morning and night the stretch marks have really started to spiderweb their way underneath my bellybutton--which is thisclose to popping out, I really hope it doesn't--and I'm not going to lie: this caused me immediate anguish when I noticed it.

I might have cried.

Alright, I definitely did.

To be more exact I burst into tears and Dan came running, quite panicked, while I sobbed that my stomach would never look the same again. To be fair, I didn't really like the way it looked before I got pregnant so what's my problem? It's not like I was rocking anything remotely Giselle-esque, so by saying 'it's never going to look the same again' did I mean it's never going to be the floppy and soft spot that the cats liked to knead on (which..I can't believe I just admitted that). It's going to be exactly the same again, except now there's going to a few lines running here and there.

I've come to terms with the stretch marks though, and really I'm quite sure this is pregnancy karma just ensuring I, the individual who didn't die of morning sickness and really, really only wants to eat fruit, gets thrown in the pregnancy trenches with everyone else. I'm cool with that.  Those other people who anguished from morning sickness and had to tie their hands together to stop eating Mars bars are likely getting out stretch-mark free. Everything evens itself out.

This is my 'practicing to be a mom' face.
Except really, this is just the face Dan sees when he doesn't IMMEDIATELY do what I want.
Like when he's watching the Simpsons when I just want to get my GD photo taken and over with.

So the theme of this week's post is going to be body issues. Because after Dan took these photos I texted my friend and moaned, "Oh my god my ass has doubled in size. There's too much of me."  Like a good friend, she denied it all. But really, I do think there's a lot of me at the moment. I feel like I should have those hazard lights attached to me that you see on semi-trucks transporting mobile homes to a new location.

Today my stomach knocked two peaches onto the floor at Migros where they wildly rolled away with abandon, I knocked a price sign off the lemons, and it was also just sort of hard to put my underwear on.

This cow has nothing to do with anything.
It's just a wicked rad picture that I love and will develop.

I have also faced the first twinge of shopping anxiety I've ever experienced. Namely, all the beautiful fall clothes are starting to slowly show up in shop windows and there's nothing I can do but stand on the other side of the glass and weep over the fact there's no way I'm fitting into these clothes anytime soon. Then I made things worse by hitting the J. Crew website. Hard.

I can't buy any of the fall fashions. Despair!

Don't forget, I often times lack a keen sense of perspective! But the reason I'm feeling new-clothes desperation is because my maternity stuff is just really...been there, done that. I'm not about to buy new maternity clothes, and the handful of stuff I do have is getting really tired. Also, all my white tank tops have stains on them. I'm a slob.

Ho hum, I wore this outfit three times this week.

But we saw the doctor this morning and she said that in just four more weeks, LB will be safely cooked to perfection!  At 37 weeks the baby can safely be delivered without being considered premature, and that was really exciting to hear! Whether or not LB shows up at 37 weeks is besides the point, but it was really cool to hear that within the month I will officially be stepping foot into the territory where you eagerly want your LB to come at anytime.

But until those four weeks are up, I'm totally comfortable with LB staying snug inside to keep growing.  The doctor also plotted LB's growth today, and I'm relieved to say that the alarming growth spurt from two weeks ago has slowed down.

You see, two weeks ago LB went from near the bottom of the chart (bottom end of 'normal', nothing to be concerned about) to almost the top. After shamefacedly admitting yes I'd eaten five cupcakes in a row (wherein my Deutsch doctor proclaimed, "YOU ATE FIVE CAKES."  No! No! Cupcakes! They're wee!), but otherwise I'm not a sugar fiend and I do eat healthily per her guidelines, the doctor finished plotting LB's stats on the chart, leaned back in her chair and told me, "Your husband is a very big man. This is likely genetic."

I was concerned. I'd been quite happy that LB was on the small end of normal and when those stats inched up the to the top I wasn't pleased because I do not want a big baby on my hands. As if things aren't going to hurt enough without pushing out a baby that's bigger than my cats.

Dan was a 10 pounder when he was born, and I'd like to avoid that thankyouverymuch.

But today things have settled and LB is right on track, which makes me very happy.


The other thing that makes me very happy is opening up your Thursday newspaper and finding a coupon for a free McDonald's sundae. After dinner last night we strolled down to McDonald's to cash in our golden ticket, and the walk was so beautiful and the air smelled of threshed wheat and horseback riding and summer.

Life is always so beautifully lit under summer's evening sun.


mom said...

I laughed so hard at you knocking the peaches on the floor :-)

Ais said...

I love the last picture Cait. And I was ten pounds and a little over when I was born.......just sayin!

Caitie said...

Thanks Ais :-). Yes I do remember you were a 10 pounder! And am trying to forget ;-) Genetics might really be against me here: I am surrounded by tall people! Haha!

Meg said...

Great pictures Cait!! You look really great. I love your hair colour in them.
Laughed out loud at the stains on the white tank tops comment, 'i'm a slob'!!! hahaha. That's the story of my life. :)

Caitie said...

Oh thanks Meg :-) I'm totally hating my hair right now. I haven't done anything with it since I cut it to my chin last August. It's all natural these days, with whatever the Instagram App does to it. I'm eyeing up pictures of choppy blonde shoulder bobs a la Heidi Klum; I might have to go and plunk down the CHF before Little Baby gets here, because for some insane reason I keep thinking I'll wait until I visit Canada...NEXT SPRING. haha. I'll probably look like a mad witch if I wait until then ;-)