Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Week 20

It's week 20, which technically means we're half-way there. I wish I could put an exclamation point behind that sentence, but honestly this past week...

No I will not smile like I mean it.
Nor will I shower.

So I have these prenatal fitness and yoga DVDs that I bought quite awhile ago off Amazon, and the fitness DVD has an instructor who is in her third trimester and looks like she's about to give birth to a basketball.

"Bare your bellies, mommas! They're gorgeous!"

Ugh, please be quiet annoyingly perky fitness trainer. My belly didn't look as good as yours when it wasn't stretching to accommodate a human, and it sure as hell doesn't look like I swallowed a basketball. This woman drives me nuts because she keeps exclaiming over and over again that now that I'm in my second trimester I should have ALL. THIS. ENERGY.

"So give me 80 more bicep curls! Come on! You have ALL THE ENERGY."

I'll tell you has all the energy, and it's not me: it's her. We could probably hook her up to a power line and keep our houses lit for weeks.  Also, stop assuming I want to be called 'momma'. The only person who can call me 'momma' or some version thereof, hasn't been born yet.

So yes, to say I am irritable this week would be the hugest understatement since Tiger Woods admitted to being a 'sexaholic' when really what he actually meant to say was he was 'inconsiderate and icky douche-bag with a God complex.'

When we took these pictures I felt a bit panicked because after looking at them I couldn't help but wonder HOW MUCH BIGGER WILL I GET? I'm only half-way peeps, and already I feel like I'm growing a giant. Which, given Dan's contribution to this gene pool, I could be.

The friendly giant who the cats love to cuddle with.

But I highly recommend that if you are ever going to be pregnant, you have to get a Dan. You can't have mine, but you need to get your own because he is the BEST. No matter what emotional curve-ball gets thrown at him, he knocks it out of the park.

He is so good and so considerate, but the act of understanding that is going to get him the award for 'Best Husband' happened last night when I completely lost my cool over quiche. I need to point out that at some time I was going to boil over because it's just been one of those weeks and I'm more emotional lately, but I wasn't expecting my undoing to be because of a savoury confection. So I had made us quiche for dinner and we were eating a little later than usual which meant I was starving at the point that I cut into it. But when I cut into the quiche the center pooled around my spatula in a wet, eggy mess because it wasn't cooked all the way through. In a moment of blind frustration I just started stabbing the quiche with my plastic spatula--eggy bits of pie flying everywhere--before shouting 'FORGET IT' as I stomped into the bedroom and threw the covers over my head while crying.

As I lay in bed I heard our front door quietly shut and I realized what an idiot I was being, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being so pissed off the only thing I could do was cry. At that time my mom happened to call, and when I spoke to her she asked what was wrong and when I told her I stabbed my pie because it wasn't cooked all the way through she bit back laughter and tried to be understanding.

Sometimes sympathy makes you feel like even more of an asshole.

But what really makes you feel ashamed is when your husband walks through the door twenty minutes later with dinner in his hands, unpacks it and plates it for you, and then reveals he also bought you ice cream.

That's why he wins.


And why I'm smiling today.

Because no matter what, one half our baby is Dan and I know it's going to be the best half.


mom said...

OMG Cait, I laughed so hard when you told me about stabbing the quiche!! Did it cook quicker with the extra holes in it...LOL

Yes, Dan is a keeper! He is kind, generous and gentle....all the best attributes in a best friend and husband.

You are both going to be great parents.

CherylfromSaskatchewan said...

You are so very lucky to have Dan - I have one of those too (except for some reason he is called Ken!)

When I was pregnant, he would bring me ice cream too, and once he even brought me a Pizza Hut pizza from 4 hours away, just cause I saw one advertised on TV and we did not have a Pizza Hut in our town, and I cried about that sad fact.

Anonymous said...

Aww, so sweet! My mom and I both enjoyed reading this post! You are so lucky to have your Dan and I think he's pretty lucky to have you too!
E-mail coming your way soon!!!

T said...

haha, such a sweet blog today Caitie, I think your baby will be well balanced between both of your personalities. I even had to read this out to Ben so he has a few tips if that day should arrive for us in the future :P

Caitie said...

Mom--Yes, it did eventually cook all the way through ;-) And it made a delicious lunch.

Cheryl--That's a great story! What a sweet guy :-)

Jana--Aw, thanks for the sweet comment :-) Especially since I don't feel too sweet at the moment! hahaha

T--He'll be great, I know it! I am so curious to know what personality our little baby will have. It's exciting to think about!