Wednesday, 28 December 2011

It Was A Wrap, Until They Tore It Open

Oh December 28th, you are such a downer.

You're not nearly as mysterious as the evening of December 24th, you really aren't as bountiful and delicious as December 25th, and you aren't full of vigorous out-doorsy fun like December 26th.

I'm really sorry but you are just a tad disappointing.

But this year, December 28th, you can rest easy knowing that you aren't nearly as disappointing as the postal service. Internet, I have officially made the postal service and its disgruntled and sticky-fingered employees my arch nemesis. It's never seemed particularly enjoyable to have an arch nemesis, which is why I've avoided one thus far. Imagine all the negative energy exerted just because in order to have an arch nemesis one must, I assume, spend a considerable amount of time chastising this person.

What a depressing waste of time.

But it's unavoidable now. I have a faceless arch nemesis that takes the form of Posties.

And the reason for this unseasonal hatred? Oh, because one of my parent's presents was unwrapped, and also some of the contents of my sister Ais' gift were stolen from her parcel.  Merry Christmas! And also, because Meg's gift just never showed up at all. Which, yes, okay, mail getting lost is not exactly ground-breaking, but when these parcels were travelling together, and one gift was unwraped and one parcel had contents removed, it makes me highly suspicious as to the reasons why the other gift just never arrived.

And please, it's not like I was gifting them with exotic plants or firearms or rain forest centipedes. There was no reason these gifts would have been 'confiscated' if that's the official term for lost mail due to thieving employees. These were very basic, very cool, gifts.

I understand that I probably should have tracked the parcels, but you see while the presents themselves were all thoughtful and neat, the cost to track them outweighed the value of the parcels. Because I've never had a problem with mail getting lost before, I just sent the gifts as I always have: snail mail, weeks and weeks and weeks in advance.

So some faceless little Postie now has my sisters' gifts, and yesterday I went out and re-bought Meg's gifts and the part of Ais' that was missing. And tomorrow I try round two of sending out their Christmas presents, except this time I'll probably track them so that if they go missing again I will know exactly which postal office doorstep I have to leave a flaming bag of dog crap on.

Merry Christmas Postie, I hope you like your pilfered goods. I'm sure they'll be of great comfort when you spend eternity working in consumer Boxing Day hell, listening to Madonna's version of Santa Baby on endless repeat while an aggressive old man demands you give him a twenty percent discount on an already discounted $2.00 pack of razor blades.

Too bad those won't come in handy to end your pain.


Ais said...

Ahahahaha! I love you get more and more bitter as the post goes along! Something about razor blades....... lol. But seriously, who steals parts of a Christmas gift?

Pumpkin said...

I had two presents that I sent to the States that never showed up. These were without the tracking. I found that if I paid extra for the tracking the gifts showed up to their destinations. I never had an issue with sending gifts from France or my parents sending gifts from the States. That leads me to think that it is an issue only for gifts being sent out of Switzerland. I told a Swiss friend about it and she got angry. She said that it must be in the States that someone loses or takes the gifts. But, I pointed out that I sent gifts from France and never once had an issue. Only gifts being sent from Switzerland don't show up. Pay extra for the tracking and you won't have problems. I hope. I am sending my oldest daughters gift (late) from France this year while we are visiting family in Strasbourg. :D

Caitie said...

Ais--I totally did get more and more bitter! haha. So true.

Pumpkin--Thanks for the advice! I am currently tracking the latest parcel like it's Santa's sled!

jessica said...

why are you the funniest girl i know and we've never met. when are you coming to texas?

Caitie said...

Jessica--I would totally love to go to Austin! Would it be awkward if I just showed up and rang your bell? Probably, huh?