Thursday, 19 May 2011

Irrational Things That Affront Me

  • Adults who wear patterned rain boots. I find these to be neither cute or stylish. Tricks are for kids people, tricks are for kids.

  • And on that note, the fact that the cartoon kids in the Trix cereal commercial used to bully the Trix rabbit by not sharing their cereal with him. My seven year old self would be sitting in front of Saturday morning cartoons (eating warm and buttery cinnamon toast!), and every time that commercial came on I'd get a little tense.  Maybe they'll share their cereal with him this time? This time? THIS TIME? But they never did. The Trix rabbit never got any cereal. [Frowny Face]. Though I couldn't verbalize my frustration at the time, I now realize  my rage could be articulated as follows: SHARE YOUR F-CKING CEREAL WITH HIM YOU LITTLE TURDS. JUST GIVE HIM A BITE.

  • The song Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart. If this song comes on the radio, I literally scream as I try to change the station. The reasons I hate the song are as follows: It opens with irritating 80's techno; Corey Hart sounds like a sad nerd who got dumped in biology class after dating a girl for two weeks, turned into a bit of a stalker but then was found out, so he channeled his raw pain into singing about his hurt with his one man garage band; and the chorus...oh terrible: Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no / Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no / I can't believe it 'cause you got it made with the guy in the shades, oh no.  Oh Yes! That is the chorus to this terrible song! Listen Corey Hart, unless an individual has had lasik eye surgery, no one 'has it made' if they're hanging out with the douche who wears his shades at night. Please have your reign of vocal terror end. Stop singing on my radio.

  • The feeling of velvet. Oh yuck. If I touch something velvety, my hand quickly recoils like it's been burned by a flame, then I rub my hand vigorously on my pant leg like I'm trying to disinfect it of cooties.

  • Lawn statues. This one is perhaps the most irrational of all, but I can't help it. Anything from Greek gods and goddesses standing proudly in the carrot patch, to those Nessie water monsters that people have artfully arranged on their lawn to make it appear as though *wink* ol' Nessie is actually swimming through the lawn *wink*. I don't like them.

  • The fact that Mariah Carey named her son "Moroccan". I classify this as 'irrational' because what she names her kid is not my business and it's terrible how much brain space I've allocated to being annoyed with this name choice, but come on. She hasn't given him a name, she's given him an adjective! She didn't name him "Morocco" or even the slightly better "Rocco", but actually "Moroccan" because that is a room in her house where her husband proposed to her. Good lord! Does anyone give any thought anymore to the fact that their kids will one day grow up and want to be taken seriously as individuals? That maybe they won't want to be known all their life as the spawn of famous parents? Do these parents want to permanently keep their children in the fragile bubble of celebrity, so that's why they name them Zuma and Moroccan and Banjo? So they can't blend into a crowd? Because they're projecting onto their kids what they eventually want them to be: NOT ORDINARY. Even us ordinary folks (and I mean people who aren't getting papped for People magazine) are trying to follow the celebrity trend for picking the most unique moniker possible for the little tykes. What if one day your daughter wants to be Prime Minister of Canada, but you've named her Rainbow? Then there's the guy in Egypt who just named his kid 'Facebook'. WTF? Individuals who think they've given birth to dolls or pets (instead of humans) and then name them as such, affront me.

So surely I can't be the only person out there who gets annoyed by seemingly trite things (please, say I'm not the only one). What irrational things annoy you?


T said...

I have been trying to think of my irrational annoyances but my brain just isn't working right now. Knowing the names of a celebrity's kids is definitely a big one though! I can't believe someone named their kid Facebook!

I'll get back to you when I think of some more as I know they are there!

T said...

K, thought of another one! People that say "you know" or "you know what I'm saying" after every 2nd or 3rd sentance. Drives me crazy! I'm sure it isn't an irrational annoyance as most people must be annoyed by it ...but it annoys me so much that I seriously want to be mean to the person and tell them how annoying they are... even if they're nice!

Caitie said...

T--This also follows along the same vein as people who *like* always *like* say 'like' when *like* their trying *like* to *like* explain something. You know what I'm saying? ;-)