Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Things I Currently Don't Understand

1. Shape-up Sketchers, and people who wear them with tapered jeans.

2. Why all teenage boys suddenly appear to look like little gangsta Christiano Ronaldos. Giant diamond studs in ears; hair that is part mullet, part mohawk, all gel; eyebrows that are tweezed and/or waxed; designer clothing that screams "I'm a skeezy little punk who can't spell or do basic addition" aka Ed Hardy attire.

3. Why I started thinking, "Hmpf...kids these days" as I observed said skeezy little punks.

4. How one can literally pull handfuls of hair from perma-shedding little Poppy, and it doesn't make a dent in her coat. Seriously. Rogaine needs to study her genetic code, and then put it in a shampoo because that girl can loose hair and grow hair like any bald man's dream.

6. Why I bother to eat any flavour of joghurt other than chocolate.

7. The German language.

8. Why I've only been sledding once this winter.

9. How Cosmo remained locked in my coat closet for over four hours, and I didn't notice. The absolute still and calm of the apartment should have been my first clue that something was wrong.

10. Why Cosmo still madly dashes to push around your legs and scramble into the said coat closet, even after his (non) traumatic experience of having been accidentally locked in.

11. Why light denim is making a comeback.

12. Why I bought into the trend by purchasing a light denim jean jacket (that I love!). Oh fashion. I can be such a follower if the price is right, and my shirt doesn't look like it's been tattooed with a sparkling tiger that has a rose growing out of its mouth (I'm looking at you skeezy teenage boys and your Ed Hardy fetish).

13. Where I can get some movie theatre popcorn without having to go to the movies.

14. Why I don't have a hot tub on my deck.

15. Why I can't cry on demand. That would be a really useful skill to have, don't you think?

But...but...honey...I'm so homesick....I...really...sniff...sniff...think...sob...this...dress would help...hic...because it reminds me of my sisters...WAIL.

I'm going to work on that.


Ais said...

Haha, easy tone with tapered jeans! Thats funny. I guess any form of running shoe with tapered jeans is pretty crazy. BTW, dont ever buy those shoes! I tried the New Balance ones, and they screwed up my ankles for a while! Not to mention that they do nothing. I guess excercise really is the only way to get in shape! Haha

Caitie said...

Ais--I totally thought of you when I saw the lady wearing them, because I remembered your story! Haha. The shoes are just terrible, they look like round balls attached to your feet. So, kinda like Lady Gaga style.