Caitie: What is even the point of David Hasselhoff? Why do people over here still care about some bloated disaster who wears leather trench coats on television?
Dan: He was awesome once.
C: Why? Because of Knight Rider?
D: Well, that's only one reason but Knight Rider does kick ass. The car rocks.
C: The show's slogan is completely unbelievable. "A lone crusader in a dangerous world..." is totally inaccurate because there's another--better--crusader in the world, and that crusader is the Littlest Hobo.
D: Who the hell...
D: ...the 'Littlest Hobo'?
C: For your information, the Littlest Hobo is only the most loyal and super friend a person could ever want. He's a German Shepard that roamed from town to town, helping people who were in danger or in need.
D: . ....
C: I'm serious. You were too busy being Swiss in Switzerland so you can't appreciate what quality television that show was, and what a timely friend that little Hobo was to so many people.
D: As if a dog is superior to a TALKING PONTIAC TRANS AM that has super hot Bonnie as its mechanic.
C: As if a cold hunk of metal is superior TO A HEROIC CANINE. That stupid car would never enter a burning building and pull someone to safety; it would explode.
D: First of all, Kitt would never have allowed Michael to go into the burning building in the first place. And second of all, Kitt could absolutely enter a burning building because he's built from fire-resistance materials.
C: Well he couldn't go upstairs and help people to safety! He'd just be uselessly rolling around downstairs where there's no one to be saved. The Littlest Hobo can run upstairs and pull people to safety.
D: Well is the Littlest Hobo bullet-proof? Is he going to shelter you if you get caught in a shoot-out? I don't think so.
C: Well he's been shot at, and people always miss him, so he's basically the Harry Potter canine equivalent of a deflecting charm. You totally want him by your side. And if you've had a hard day, the Littlest Hobo comes to your side and rests his head on your lap and let's you hug him. Obviously superior.
D: Nobody in Knight Rider requires gentle rocking and comforting after a hard day. They need speed, gas, and a car that does surveillance.
C: Well the Littlest Hobo could bite you in the crotch!
D: Well Kitt could mow you down!
C: The dog is better.
D: Is not.
Internet, as you can tell we have seriously important arguments in our household, and we need this one resolved. Who would you rather have on your side? Some car named Kitt that talks down to you as if you're simple minded, or a heroic German Shepard who's only mission in life is to be your devoted friend?
Clearly I think the choice is obvious.