Preface: Any parents of small children who may read this post, I acknowledge that you will not sympathize with me one iota. Consequently, I warn you that the below may cause you to roll your eyes so far into the back of your head, blindness ensues.
On Saturday morning, Dan and I had plans to go to a hot air balloon show...somewhere (hey, I know it was in Switzerland). We'd heard this event was pretty awesome and we love to participate in awesome things, so our reaction was: AWESOME, let's go.
Except...we didn't go.
And the reason?
Oh, because somebody in this relationship *coughmecough* wouldn't get out of bed at 6 a.m. on a Saturday to make it worth our while to travel for the show. Is this completely shameful? That I willingly opted to stay in bed instead of checking out a scene that's supposed to be...err...awesome?
I don't care.
And the reason? Because I am NOT a morning person. And for you early birds out there, who have worm breath because you're always the first on the scene, let me fill you in a little something about night owls like me: the answer is 'no'. No we do not like to get up in the morning. No we do not like to go to bed early at night. No we don't care how awesome it feels to get in an early morning workout. No it is not childish to gnash your teeth and shout obscenities at your alarm clock (even if said alarm clock is your husband. *shame*) And no, we will not 'grow-up' and accept the fact that adults have to be responsible and get up at 6 a.m. or earlier.
I am not a morning person, and proud of it.
And why am I boring you with details about my sleeping preferences? Because this country is breaking me, people. IT'S BREAKING ME. An entire country populated by early risers is obscenely unnatural; like vampires, or people who don’t like potato chips.
You see in my early morning comatose state, on my way to class, while I am slumped down in my bus seat trying not to rest my head on a stranger’s shoulder or drool all over the window, I can see into office buildings, and I see a lot people sitting at their desks at 7:15 a.m. typing, shuffling paper, having round table discussions, and looking generally busy. And furthermore, my bus is packed with little kids on their way to school who will be sitting in their desks, ready to get their learnin' on, all before 8 a.m.
Also, there is construction happening on the apartment building across the way from us, and the construction dudes are all busily sawing and hammering and working away just before 7 a.m every weekday morning. This is considered reasonable. I, of course, consider it to be f-cking crazy.
Does Switzerland not know of the 9-5 workday? Dolly Parton wrote a whole song about it! It's super catchy!
Consequently I think that the Swiss government needs to seriously consider putting the following question on all Visa applications so night owls know what they're in for:
Do you like to be awake before the roosters? Do you like to obsessively consult your Omega watch to check if the rising sun is tardy that morning? If you answer 'No' to these questions, don't bother getting on the plane you pathetic sloth. We have no use for you.