Tuesday, 14 December 2010

I'm Feeling Quite Grinchy

As of last night, all of the (shoddy) lights on our Christmas tree officially burned out and today I had to replace them.

You wouldn't expect so from a new tree, but there was bloody (green) carnage after the lights were dropped and replaced, and if you heard a yell that sounded like:

*&%$YOUCO-OPBASTARDSWHATSORTOFSHITTYEXCUSEFORATREEISTHIS??%$*#

Well, that was me. Sorry for being so loud. So instead let me channel my rage into a Christmas carol, because it tis the season to be jolly, even if you do want to throw eggs at the guy who sold you the tree.

An Ode

Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!
You're really starting to make me angry.
Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!
Thy needles are all dropping.

Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!
Much pleasure thou isn't bringing me.
Usually the Christmas tree, brings me a lot of glee.
But Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!
I really want to throttle thee.

Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!
Thy candles will not shine bright
Otherwise we will be visited by a fire sprite.
Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!
Your ornaments all hang quite limply.

Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!
You really must know that you have caused me woe,
And after Christmas day I will throw you into the snow.
Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!
Stop leaving so much debris.

DSC_0881
Bloody (green) carnage.

6 comments:

mom said...

wow, the needles are really dropping. Where is your tree skirt??? Remember the year that all of the needles fell off our tree and dad had to take the carcass back and get a new one? We put ours up last night but we haven't decorated it yet. I thought I could just throw a couple of ribbons and it and call it a day :-))

mom

Habebi said...

Yikes and I thought my tree was shedding! Hope things improve on the tree front

Dad said...

Looks green to me :-))

T said...

ouch! I want to see more of your apartment with christmas decorations!I still remember the first time I went to your apartment on New Years Eve and I was amazed at how much Christmas spirit you could pack into one small apartment!

Caitie said...

Mom--I do remember that. I remember absolutely distraught we had to take it back, because Dad always takes forever to set up the tree and I wanted to decorate IMMEDIATELY. hahaha, my lack of patience is really something I should eventually work on.

Habebi--this is crazy how bad it sheds! And my one cat, Poppy, likes to sit under the tree and bat at the ornaments, so the needles are just like her: perma-shedders.

Dad--Green for now. And also, humpf! (I have said that to you in awhile, it was due)

T--My apartment isn't nearly as cheery as it has been in past years :-( We don't have a Christmas village any more and we also have a serious lack of surface area to put up some of my little special candles, the nativity scene, etc... But I still have loads of Christmas spirit, so does that make up for it? ;-)

Melissa Sue said...

holy needles! I'm happy I went the Jumbo Action fake route this year... :D