Thursday, 2 December 2010

A Dazzling Smile

Dear 'A Cait's Life' readers,

I have noticed something.

Something really strange.

Something that I am hoping you will shed light on.

It has come to my attention (due to the fact that I have on occasion been blasted in the eye by a tiny beam of gem light) that some women in Switzerland are BEDAZZLING THEIR TEETH.

You read that right. And now allow me to anticipate your reaction: what the what?

I know.

Some women here are putting a tiny diamond-looking stud on either their right or left incisor. The first time I noticed this I was actually being introduced to the woman, and when she opened her mouth to smile at me BAM I was hit in the eye with a glimmer of gem light. These little studs catch the light and just start throwing laser beams around Power Rangers style. It's like you need to be wearing sunglasses all the time, because you just never know when you're going to get hit in the eye.

For the longest time I thought that this woman with the bedazzled tooth was a lone incident. But nope, I have now encountered upwards of seven different women who are ornamenting their incisors with these gems and the most recent encounter happened when I was lying on the doctor's table and the nurse was drawing blood from my arm. 

My nurse bedazzles her tooth! 

(Though she is an extremely nice lady, quite professional, and she always teaches me a new medical German word every time I see her--latest word learned is 'oberschenkel' meaning 'thigh'--so don't think I'm getting blood drawn in some alley behind a Denner's.)

Yes I realize that the whole practice of ornamenting your smile is nothing new. I mean, look at all the celebrities walking around with neon white smiles; can you imagine going to laser bowling with those people?  They must look like freaks.

(I don't know about the rest of the world, but 'laser bowling' in Canada is when all the lights in the bowling alley are turned off, a disco ball is switched on, and then a black light is also turned on that makes anything white appear to be radioactively glowing--it never gets old.)

(Second side note: go back and watch a movie from the 80's, everyone looks like they have really poor dental hygiene when really they're just NORMAL.)

I also understand that rapper culture went through this phase when it wasn't enough to light their cigarettes with burning thousand dollar bills, so they started wearing all their money on their teeth. I believe this really disgusting practice is called: a grill. I understand that this 'grilling' phenomenon then filtered down to pop culture America where wannabe gangsta's who lived in suburbia and who thought that 'Ray' was a drop of golden sun and not a dealer who would shoot you dead for looking at him, started undoing thousands of dollars of orthodontic work by wearing their grills. Or is it, grillz?

So yes, okay, I get that shinning up your smile isn't all that new.

BUT.

I have not, outside of Switzerland, seen any working, middle-class, nurse/Migros worker/bank teller/teacher/bus driver sporting a bedazzled tooth. Also, how is that jewel staying on? Denture glue? Is it permenant? I'm curious.

Does bedazzling one tooth exist in other parts of the world? If so, tell me about it. And if doesn't, well dear readers all I can say is the next time you need to get your monthly transit pass renewed, you best be wearing shades because BAM.

"Blinded by the light...."

8 comments:

Kristi said...

I had a German teacher who had a bedazzled tooth. Seriously, how am I supposed to learn meine Grammatik with that "all up in my grill"?

Ais said...

Haha what? I have never heard of that before! Haha, I want to see this for myself.

T said...

Wow, I've never heard of such a trend. Now I need you to ask your nurse next time!

Habebi said...

I have seen that before, but, I think it was on a television show. That said, I wouldn't be surprised if it was based of the whole grillz thing. Get some of the bling without wearing false teeth? Just a guess...

Btw- major, MAJOR kudos for the Power Rangers reference!

M'dame Jo said...

Off topic - thanks for the card!

(The lab secretary has one of those. I think it started 3-4 years ago as a trend among dental hygienists.)

Caitie said...

M'dame Jo--No problem! Do you know are these tooth gems permenantly affixed?

M'dame Jo said...

I think it's glued very strongly, but that it can be removed without damaged. It's not "drilled" into the tooth.

Melissa Sue said...

my friend Moni (i painted a picture of her this week) has one (i didn't paint in the gem though). it's distracting but after a couple months i've gotten used to it. Maybe I'll ask her about it next time I see her...