Here is a list of random things from the past week that I guess I would have probably tweeted about, if I had Twitter.
1. I love Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Go download Home. Do it now! Especially if you're in a crummy mood. You're feet will be tapping before you can stop them.
2. A little girl walking behind me chanting Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber, Jus-Jus-Justin Bieber, Bieber, Bieber, Justin Bieber....After about two more minutes of this chanting, her mom told her (I assume) to can it. Silence. Then very, very, quietly, Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber, Jus-Jus-Justin Bieber....
3. A lady gets on the bus who has that gaunt and hollow look of a drug addict. Her arms are full of scabs, her fingernails look painfully broken, her legs are super skinny and bruised, and clenched between veiny hands is a wad of cash. She gets on the bus, braces her legs in a wide stance, and looks at everyone suspiciously, while we all look back in confusion: PUT THAT MONEY IN YOUR PURSE CRAZY! You know, the one slung over your shoulder!
4. Back home, when a jar of salsa is labelled 'hot' it actually means: "Fooled ya! This isn't hot at all! April Fools, in July...or March...or whenever you're buying this 'hot' jar of non-hot salsa." Well, when the Swiss label something 'hot' they mean it! I dumped a huge spoonful of this 'hot' salsa all over my burrito, took a greedy bite, and then spent the next ten minutes coughing in agony as my tear ducts purged themselves of tears that also seemed spicy. It was uncomfortable.
5. Sitting around the dinner table, and a new acquaintance asks me if my premier is in Switzerland. Well excuse me as I fluff my hair, pinch my cheeks, and sit a little taller. Premier. How flattering. I wonder which Hollywood starlet he has mistaken me for. With my thin lips, on-strike metabolism, and short stature, perhaps he thinks I'm Angie Jolie. As I am set to trill my most delicate, "Oh you must be mistaken," Dan leans over and says, "He's asking if this is your first time in Switzerland." And that sound you hear is my ego deflating like a balloon.
6. For the next two weeks, Dan and I are staying at his aunt and uncle's house looking after a menagerie of animals and vegetation. I am responsible for the well being of: one horse, one mini-pony, one yellow lab, two black labs, eight tomato plants, countless flowers, a huge vegetable garden, plus our two cats. The mantra is: "Don't runaway, don't runaway, stay alive, stay alive, don't runaway..."
Finally, I present to you a study in personality.
These two pictures say everything about how different we are, that words cannot.
And thanks for the sympathy I'm feeling from you. It's true, living with a neat freak is rough.
But Dan, I'm a free spirit! Peace out, man. Don't worry about the little stuff. Eventually this collection of socks will find their way to the laundry hamper. Eventually...as in, when I run out of socks and need to wash them.
Why is there steam coming out of your ears?