Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Oh I've Figured It Out

So my Dad's birthday was last Thursday, and like any good daughter I needed to make sure his birthday card (that included sweet little cow magnets) got to him on time.

So a week before Dad's birthday, I gave Dan the card and asked him to mail it on his lunch hour (the post office is right beside his office, and I'm just not ready to tackle that language barrier yet).

"Make sure to send it express post so that it gets to Dad in time for his birthday.  Remember, EXPRESS POST! Otherwise it will never make it in time!"

You see, my unwavering belief that express post was the only answer to ensuring an international card was delivered within the week, is a direct result of only ever having dealt with Canada Post.

Or, who I will now forever refer to as: We're Incompetent Post

(That will be WIP for short)

Dan and I were apart for quite sometime before I got here.  Naturally I had to send him a few things in the mail, like original documents he needed for work, etc...

But every time I went to WIP, they told me they would not guarantee the documents to reach Switzerland anytime before eight weeks if I sent them regular mail.  As in, cheap mail.

No.  If I wanted a guarantee that the documents reached him within a week or two, they had to be sent express post and the prices were EXTREME! 

Fast forward to me moving to Switzerland.  Remember the whole airport debacle with the oversized luggage, needing to empty it, Canada's Worst Driver? Well in the utter hell that was that hour, my mom accidentally took my favourite comfy shoes out of my suitcase to lighten the load.  Realizing her mistake after I landed here, and discovered WTF happened to my shoes?, she said she would mail them to me.

I have been here six weeks now, and the shoes still haven't arrived.  I arrived here on a Tuesday, she had them mailed the Thursday of the same week.

But WIP was going to charge her almost $100 for my shoes (that were not wrapped in a bulky oversized box or anything!) to arrive here 'in a timely fashion'.  Naturally, that was too much to spend.

Tick tock, WIP, tick tock.

So back to my Dad's birthday card.  Dan comes home after mailing it, and I pounce: "You sent it express post, right? Right! Right!"

"No, just regular.  I could have paid CHF 50 and it would have been there practically tomorrow, but that's too much.  Don't worry, it will get there by your Dad's birthday. The lady at the post office said so."

Cue head explosion.

OMGWTF!  It won't get there by next week! Because WIP always told me that it takes minimum eight weeks for delivery of international items sent via regular mail. I'm the worst daughter ever!!!

Guess what arrived within one week, for the low cost of CHF 4.00, for my Dad's birthday?  That's right.

I have now discovered that it appears as though WIP holds people's international mail hostage for eight weeks, if they choose the cheapest delivery option.

I imagine this is what goes on behind the scenes of WIP:

Newbie (who's eager to please): Hey boss!  Look at this giant stack of mail in the corner!  I will get right on that and make sure it's sent out for international delivery. 

Boss: *sigh* NO NEWBIE!  Those people didn't want to pay us extra money to fund our three-times a day Starbucks addiction, so we're keeping that mail here, and we don't send it out anytime before eight weeks.  If they want reasonable service, they will pay for it!

That scenario sounds very plausible to me. If you want to send something via expensive express post by WIP they promise delivery in 7 business days.

Send something via the expensive express post in Switzerland, and the Swiss Post's reaction to that is:

If this was the magical land of Harry Potter, and we could read minds and disapparte, that package would have been out of your hands and delivered to its destination before you even realized you needed it sent.  Unfortunately right now, the best we can guarantee is  next day delivery, two days at the most.

If you just want to send your package regular cheap mail, we'll have it there within the week BECAUSE THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY AND NO ONE TRAVELS BY COVERED WAGON ANYMORE (except the Amish) SO THERE'S NO REASON SMALL DELIVERIES SHOULD TAKE EIGHT WEEKS!!!

I always knew that WIP was a major rip, and now I have solid proof.

1 comment:

mom said...

Yup, no kidding Cait. I'm really pissed that you haven't received your shoes yet! It's not like planes don't fly to Europe everyday! ....oh ya, Canada Post probably has a boat that uses oars to get their mail over the ocean!!!!