Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Ghiara

This is it folks!  The last post devoted to the animals we've been caring for.  And to thank you for your patience in reading about these lovely dogs and horses, I will be here tomorrow with a little riddle for you.  Well, it's not so much a riddle so much as a "what does it MEAN?" sort of question. 

Do I miss English television?  Sometimes.  On nights where the Internet has left me with nothing to read (my Canada shipment STILL isn't here, and so neither are my books), I really miss it.  But one channel I don't miss so much is TLC.

What is it with that channel and their strange fascination with devoting programs to little people, families with enough kids to populate their own village, and women who had no clue they were pregnant?

Of course there was the classic Jon and Kate Plus 8, but who didn't see that atomic bomb waiting to go off? Eight annoying brats, a wife who was a raging bitch, and a husband who couldn't seem to grasp the fact he had eight children.  That family functioned like a kid kicking over an ant hill: all chaos all the time, with a dash of mean thrown in.

And of course the largest super-sized family of them all is the Duggars. Nineteen children! What the what! Things I took issue with in that show:  (1) all the kids looked the same; (2) Jim Bob is creepy; (3) the daughters saying they permed their hair 'because their dad liked it'; (4) they wear long sleeved shirts under t-shirts because it's 'more modest'; (5) the fact that it looks like the girls are just sitting around waiting to get married; (6) not even being allowed to kiss your fiance!; (7) the oldest son and his new bride driving to the hotel on their wedding night, listening to an unemotional voice over their car speakers discuss wedding night sex, and all the special feelings they would have; (8) allowing this footage, of these newlyweds mentally psyching themselves up for the ensuing fornication, to be broadcast. 

Seriously, I could go on and on.

But I won't.  Instead, I will say that Michelle Duggar must really, really, believe in her path to have as many children as possible, in order to have been pregnant nineteen times. I'm living with a girl right now who's had nine children AND SHE'S DONE!

Ghiara

(pronounced GE-are-A)

Ghiara is not at all pleased with the way her stomach hasn't bounced back after two litters of pups, and has retained Maxi has her trainer, to teach her the ways of the Kong.

Maxi!  You're supposed to be helping me get in shape, give me the Kong!

I don't share, remember.  Get a new personal trainer!

And so that ends that day's attempt for Ghiara to get in shape, but Maxi just taking over. 

Dan's aunt has said that two litters of pups out of beautiful Ghiara, are enough for this raven-haired beauty.  And with her litters grown and gone, she finally has time to smell the grass...every. single. blade. of. grass. on. every. single. walk.

Smells good.

Smells really good, in fact.

Just delightful.

Ghiara is always so busy smelling the grass, that she ends up being just a small black dot on the horizon behind us as we walk away. I'd like to think this is where I come in, and help her get her pre-baby shape back, by giving a shrill whistle that sends her running towards me.

Nope.  There's no fast paced running in Ghiara's life.  She will trot until she's eventually caught up with us, and then she immediately falls behind again.

Not a care in the world.

When we got here, Ghiara's son Ophie was also in our care.  He was a handful.

Uh no, I totally wasn't in the fountain.

Family portrait.  Ghiara in yellow, and Ophie in blue.

And while Ophie was here, I'll be darned if Ghiara didn't totally ignore him. I think she was having flashbacks to his sharp little baby teeth, and how he used to stay out too late at night.  Also, it was very apparent she didn't want her adult son moving back home; she was anxious for him to leave.

And Ophie did go home, leaving Ghiara and her two best pals to wander the country lanes in peace, free to enjoy a little girl talk.

Can you believe how tacky that Gosselin woman is?

Before I go, Ghiara just gave me a pleading stare and asked that I deliver the following to you because she doesn't want Jim Bob, Michelle Duggar, or any of their modest brood to judge her.  Ghiara doesn't really know the father of her pups, they never listened to any tapes on fornicating or feelings, and truthfully they barely even dated.  So don't judge her, okay.

Don't judge me.

She was a caring mother, and says if you're feeling particularly judgy today, how about turning your attention to TLC who's earning big bucks off of childhoods being filmed for strangers to gawk at. Word. I mean, Woof. 

7 comments:

mom said...

Wouldn't it be fun to put Tia in the mix.....she is getting to be a bit more social as long as the other dogs don't try to take her stick when we are at the river. Currently she is afraid of something so I thing there must be a bear around. Love the pictures Cait....

T said...

Ophie looks like quite the mischief maker!

Beautiful animals that is for sure. I agree with your mom that there are definitely going to be withdrawls once you're back at the apartment!

Sandra Keller said...

ok ... got to "shirts under t'shirts & had to post before reading any further ... went to a "soiree" in Sicamous last month & 3 dudes were wearing their "beer" t-shirts over long sleeved shirts ... thought I was missing something but apparently, tho I have it, don't watch it!

Habebi said...

HAHAHAHAHAA!!! You expressed exactly what I think of TLC's shows so well! Thank you! This post was fun and Ghiara, well, she's a practical gal and she's allowed to ignore her kid who, by doggy time, should be long gone. Can you blame her? I certainly cannot.

Oh and I just have to say... the tapes about sex.... umm... wtf??

Caitie said...

Mom--oh man, who knows what would happen if Tia got thrown into the mix. She would definitely dwarf the competition, but I think three against one would teach her place pretty fast, and they'd get along great.

T--oh Ophie, I was so glad he left after two days. And I'm totally going to have withdrawals :-(

Sandra--What type of soiree where you attending in the great metropolis of Sicamous? Who can scratch their balls the longest? hahaha. Okay, that was mean. But yeah, if you're going to insist on wearing a long sleeve shirt, just leave the t-shirt out of the mix.

Habebi--I know! The wedding night tapes were insane! Is this the 50's? Who doesn't know about sex?? But honestly, it was a huge moment in these kids' lives, did the rest of the world need to see it? No. And also, I think their parents should have maybe had The Talk with them, instead of making them listen to this tape. Ah TLC, I think I should maybe become a psychologist, because there's going to be plenty of F*ed up kids coming out of that little social-science experiment.

Virginia said...

Thanks for summing up the Duggars. I just knew that show was weird from the commercials (which I see when I visit family the US). I think you're right about those kids needing counseling in the future: Ew!

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