Sunday, 13 June 2010

Nature, You Old Prankster You

Dan I went to Oberbalm today to just walk around and see the sights. Because we're invited to his aunt's for dinner this afternoon, I don't have time to tell you all about the trip.  I will tomorrow, or maybe Tuesday.

But I do have time to share with you this snippet from our day.

As we walked around, we found a Wanderweg and decided to follow it for awhile.  It became apparent that our cardio-vascular systems were about to go on strike if took even one more step, so it was very convenient that we came across a bench nestled under the branches and leaves of this tree.





We sat on the bench for quite awhile, while we chatted and dreamed the morning away.  At one point I reached down to adjust my coat, when I noticed a whole bunch of small yellow dots against the black nylon of my jacket.

How strange?  Is this pollen?

Because I wasn't wearing my glasses I had to get right down and investigate what the heck these peculiar little specks were that seemed to moving with the wind.

Then Holy Mother of Switzerland did I let out the most piercing scream that only a girl really knows how to deliver.

The jacket was thrown from my body as I danced and screamed and flapped my arms around and (did I mention) screamed:

BABY SPIDERS! BABY SPIDERS! I [bleep]ING SAT IN A NEST OF BABY SPIDERS!

Rather than try to comfort me and assure me that none of the little eight-legged terrors were on me, Dan practically shoved me out of the way to get a better look.

So cool! Baby spiders!  AWESOME! 

How about, not awesome. 

Don't let their size fool you

They are capable of causing hyper-hysteria

I was absolutely convinced these little buggers were in my hair, down my shirt, climbing up my pant legs!  I could not be consoled.  In a flash that old grade-school urban legend crossed through my mind about the woman who had a spider lay eggs in her ear.  And they hatched!

AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Baby Arachnids!

Baby Arachnids!

They were everywhere!  Hundreds of them!  And lucky ol' Caitie had to be the one who plunked her sorry butt right into their midst. 

I can feel them on me now.  Crawling around.  Sick! Sick! Sick!

And I can just say: f-ing nature.  I love you Nature, I really do.  I make sure to recycle that which can be recycled; I pick up stray pieces of stranger's garbage and pack it with me so it doesn't litter your paths; I even defend your irritating habit of having to rain on days when we were planning for sun.  But Nature, how is a person supposed to love these...


...when they are crawling all over her?  I recognize the important role of the Arachnid in the circle of life, but I'd rather their role be an invisible one.

Intently interested in the (shudder) baby spiders

And Nature, I thought such a thing was not possible, but you have taught me it is.  For this I am saddened.  But I can now say, quite earnestly, NOT ALL BABIES ARE CUTE!

3 comments:

Ais said...

Ew grose! At least they were babies, and not a bunch of big ones.

T said...

Those pictures made me feel like I had creepy crawlers on me too!

Sarah Marsh said...

Oh god. The only thing worse than a big ugly spider is hundreds of ugly baby spiders. Makes my skin crawl.

Too bad your serene afternoon under the tree was ruined!